Active Listening

Active Listening Techniques

Here are some active listening techniques you can use in your coaching session. When you are coaching it is important that you not only listen to your mentee but also your mentee knows you are really listening to them and knows that you are seeking to understand them.

Verbal Listening Techniques
‘Yes’, ‘right’, ‘OK’ ‘ah ha’ etc.These short interjections are great for making unobtrusive signals that you are listening and if used at the right time will not interrupt the mentee’s train of thought

Reflecting back words, thoughts and feelings
Here you are reflecting back the words, thoughts and feelings of your mentee, subtly emphasising their own words e.g. ‘so, you say you want to make some big changes?’ e.g. ‘you sound as if you are really excited…’

Respond with affirmations
Using affirmations such as ‘it sounds like you handled that well’ or ‘it seems like you’ve made tremendous progress’ is a great way to bolster the self-esteem of your mentee and is a great way to keep your mentee with a positive frame of mind whilst really showing you are listening to understand them.

Ask relevant questions
Coaching questions should not be a series of pre-planned questions, instead, intuitively asked based on the mentee’s responses. Your mentee will know you are listening to them when you ask questions that relate to what they have been saying.

Clarification
asking clarifying questions is one the more active listening techniques. e.g. ‘you mentioned earlier that your priority was your family, now you have mentioned that your career is the most important thing…which is more of a priority right now?’

Summarising
Every now and again providing a brief summary of what has been said serves as a useful check that you have heard and understood the mentee correctly

Non-verbal active listening techniques
In face to face coaching sessions your use of appropriate body language also demonstrates that you are listening and especially important when your mentee is in full flow when verbal interruptions by you might hinder.

Eye contact
whilst you don’t want to stare out your mentee having eye contact shows you are listening. If you are taking notes be sure not to let this stop you from looking at your mentee for the entire session!

Positive facial expressions
Smiling, looks of empathy, etc. all naturally responding to your mentee will indicate you are listening. Avoid expressions which might indicate judgment on your behalf such as raised eye-brows or the shaking of your head.

Nodding
a slight nod of the head is great for showing that have heard and understood your mentee.

Body posture
leaning slightly towards your mentee and an open posture (arms open as opposed to folded) indicate you are open to and interested in what they are saying.

As with any technique they should not be over-used and always used authentically. A final word of warning, if you use active listening techniques whilst not listening to your mentee will not be fooled!